Monday, October 31, 2011

Dallas or Bust!

Today felt like a bit of a blur.  Dallas is only a 5 hour drive, or so google maps told me, and I couldn't arrive there till Erin got off work at 4.  I had some time to kill.  I organized the space I have been hobo squatting in Scott's apartment and gather all my clothes.  Say my good byes and head out to gas up the car.  A few wrong turns, 3 different gas stations that didn't have ice to sell me, and a couple really angry drivers later I am on the road. 

Funny story, as soon as I got on the highway at 12, my map timeline said I would be there in 4 hours.  Something happened between not being on the highway and being on the on ramp that added one hour to the trip.  So I will now have an hour to kill when I get to Dallas because there is nothing of importance outside of Austin on this drive. 

I show up in Dallas around 4, call Erin and drive around trying to kill an hour.  Enough boring stuff out of the way, lets talk about Erin.  Erin Dowell is one of my best friends from way back when in college.  We bonded over the mutual lack of self control and rampant Wednesday night drinking fests.  She is and always will be one of the best people I have ever met.  So given that information you would believe that we would throw down for Halloween.  Erin shows up and we start getting ready, she goes as Texas prom queen circa 1983 and I go as Hot Jogger Girl Mayhem from the Allstate Commercials.  She was going to go as Flo but the USPS stole it or something crazy.  Dressed and ready we head over to her friend Clairs house.

Clair is an Irish girl who happens to have her birthday on Oct 30th, and had never celebrated Halloween like we Americans.  She was so floored by the concept she had her birthday party become a Halloween party with Karaoke and drinks.  When we got to her house, very early mind you, she was still getting ready and trying to get all the decorations up and make food an just running all around the house.  The party start showing up and the music and festivities commence.  Erin has reservations at a local bar that does Karaoke on Wednesdays, but when we show up both the Karaoke people have called in sick.  Coincidence???  Erin, being the problem solver that she is, starts calling up other bars, google searching karaoke bars, and finally she finds a spot. 

This place was way on the other side of Dallas, close to where all the other people were staying so they were happy, but also in a shady spot of Dallas.  We walk in and not only do they have Karaoke, they have a bunch of the funniest patrons I have ever seen.  This rather heavy set black lady comes up to me,
"Now are you Mayhem?"
"No, I am a smoking hot babe out there everyday keeping this(motions up and down) a ten!"
"Oh you crazy boy, take a shot!"  This happened regularly in this costume, I am a fan. 
When I ask her what she is this year, she whips out a tupac mask and screams "I am here for Biggie!!" Then later she Karaokes California Love. 

But enough about them, lets get back the our group.  Erin, a natural with two major songs under her belt, Ice Ice Baby, and Strokin by Clarence Carter except she says Erin Dowell instead.  Now picture these songs being sang by a girl in a hot pink pooffy dress with a big bow on it that looked like the 80's vomited all over.  Priceless.

After a few more drinks and birthday shots we convinced Claire up on stage for one of the most dramatic versions of Barbie Girl I have ever seen.  Everyone else in the bar was also very impressed.  The festivities carried on in this fashion long into the night.  At one point Erin decided to call her parents to see if they would pick us up, but both were in bed and kindly told her to call a cab.  She is just a fun bucket of crazy. 

Anyway, a good distraction and we are off to bed.  Tomorrow, who knows what will happen.

Stewart Lane

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Tueday, i missed it.

Tuesday, I have thus far had a great time in San Antonio but all that fun just came to a crashing end.  I recently recieved a call from my Dad.  My grandmother has taken a turn, things were known to be bad but this time it was the final countdown.  I discuss with my parents the realities of time and what my plans should be.  We will talk again when they arrive up at the farm and understand further her condition. 

With that said, I am devestated.  I keep thinking about all the times we had, all the fun and laughs, all the great things she taught me, just everything.  I have been sitting inside all day, I need to get out, I need to be distracted. 

I head out to Dough Pizzeria, voted one of the best in the city and it looks pretty solid.  I headed on in and was amazed by the set up.  Huge pizza oven in the main kitchen rolling at around 810 degrees, which the chef proclaimed was to cold and threw another log on the fire, marble countertop where the main chef shaped the pizza and then threw it to his assistents.  They then made the pizza, using basil from the flower pots in front of their stations, and placed them in the oven.  It was an amazing production and a great distraction.  I talked with the chefs, chatted with the waitstaff and had a great early dinner out.  I had the pancetta pizza with pancetta, procuitto, mozzerella, and shaved garlic with truffle oil.  It was great, except for the sauce, the sauce was just san marzano tomatoes and sicilian sea salt.  It was so lacking, add some tom paste or other seasonings to make it just something more than a thin watery tamato sauce.  But I drank my bottle of wine, talked and laughed with the employee's and had an all around good time.  I like the place, next time i need to try some of the other specialties; they make their own mozzerella!

After dough I went back to the house and vegged.  Read cracked online and Physics of the Imposible, till it was time for bed.  Before I passed out I get a call from my dad, things are not as bad as previously thought and I don't need to high tail it back to Tarkio tomorrow.  Good news, as good as that news can be.

Stewart Lane

Down day Sunday and monday.

"Hey, I want breakfast food, lets go."  Scott is the most compassionate host.

Sunday is full of hazy memories from game day; I know KSU won, I know OU lost, I know KU students leave a hopeless situation at around 2 minutes into the third, and Scott brought us Pizza.  So long story short I had a blast.

We head out to "The Egg and I" for a delicious and much needed breakfast.  The place is hopping when we show up and it takes us a bit to get a seat.

Slight side story, on my friend Scott's last day in Manhattan KS, he went on the greatest spree of his time there.  We walked into every bar with nothing to lose, he didn't care if he got kicked out or a life time ban and was acting accordingly.  After several, "You all need to get the hell out of here!", from numerous bartenders Scott demands Denny's.  On the way to his car, we had a DD so no worries, he finds a ladder laying down on the side of a building.
"Stew, grab this, we are going to start a business."
"Scott you are too drunk to do this and what is the business."  I say as I am hoisting the ladder onto my shoulder.
"First off I was a fire fighter, its legit, and second we are going to put people on high things."

And that was the business model.  We ran around the ville pointing at roof tops and other higher structures and asking if people wanted to be on them.  Our first customer wanted on top of the car wash.  Scott collected a quarter from him and helped put him on the roof.  As soon as the guy got up there he yanked the ladder away and screamed, "You want down?  Well that's 50 cents!"  And so our business went till he got tired of carrying the ladder and left it leaning on someones roof.

Then we get to Denny's and the place is slammed.  They can't keep up with everyone there so Scott uses this opportunity to start making announcements over the load speaker.  It is still in debate today as to what was said, lets just say it was borderline offensive or mildly informative like this,"Hey, you are about to eat at Denny's, what is wrong with you?!"  And so on.  I told him that he was going to get us kicked out so he removed the PA system from the wall and demanded that i relocate it to his car where it would be safe.  I guess he needed a trophy so I allowed it.  Then we get seated, but there is a problem, and Scott decided that there is to much stuff on the table and puts every singe thing under the table.  Then Scott finds out that Denny's served Holllendaise sauce, his favorite, and gets a spark behind those hazy drunk eyes.
"Stew, you think they make their own or is it from a pouch."
"Only one way to find out." I didn't get to finish with, you could ask them, before he was off for the kitchen.  He storms in like a mad man, walks up to the dry storage area and finds a big can of hollendaise sauce.  He grabbed it and proceeded to yell at the kitchen staff for making such horrible life choices and so on.  He was just about to tell them how to make the sauce before he was escorted back to his seat by the owner.  We ordered, ate, then Scott stole the wet floor sign on our way out the door.  The call i received the next day was both curious and sad.
"Stew, why do I have a salt shaker, a PA system, a wet floor sign and a suit in my car?"  I forgot to mention he did all of this wearing a suit because he said Denny's was a classy affair.

Back to the present, we sit down and order our food.  I get the veggie Benedict with a super girly berry blast smoothie.  Scott gets the corned beef hash that for some reason comes with a side of Hollendaise.  The food takes forever and as we wait i hear our waitress talking to another patron about, "Well i wasn't going to spend another $200 to see my kids, I mean whose fault is it really?"  No, context does not make this make any more sense.  We get out food and walk on out the door.  It was not that memorable.

Nothing happened the rest of the day.  I know, boring but that's the way it is kids.

Around noon on Monday i head out for Rosarios the home to the second greatest taco in Texas, the fish taco.  I find the place, grab a table at the bar and grab a margaritta.  Then a great thing comes out, its the homemade chips and salsa.  The salsa was made from fire roasted tomato salsa, and by fire roasted i mean black fire roasted.  You would think it would be bitter, burnt and terrible, but it was complex with a touch of controlled bitterness mixed with a meaty tomato flavor.  Then came the fish tacos, oh and they earned the reputation for the best in town.  The fish were grilled to perfection with a wonderful fresh slaw, chipotle cream, fresh avocado and lime juice.  The tortillas were fluffy and perfect.  I don't think I will ever get tired of tacos.

Back to the house for rest till Scott gets home from work then its off to a new Thai restaurant.  This place was new and not to shabby.  I had the drunken noodles with beef and Scott had the yellow curry, they had 3 curries red, yellow, and green.  Everything was great and fast.  But really nothing exceptional.  Oh and the chiefs destroyed the chargers, It was a good day.

Stewart Lane

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Game Day, and Taco Taco!!

Game day, college game day to be exact, and I am so ready for this one.  Today is the Sunflower Showdown between K-State and KU.  Bitter rivals and fierce competitors, except this season where KU has a record of terrible and we have a shiny unblemished record of Awesome!  Anyway we headed over to Blake's house and get game day rolling.  Blake has set up the best system, two Tv's, both with Picture in Picture have been set up on top of each other, ensuring that we can watch 4 games at once and there will never be a half time lull. 

All games except one or two go as expected, so game day started to get a little boring until it was lunch time.  We ran over to a place with the "Best Taco In America", Taco Taco.  The place was still slammed even though they technically closed 5 minutes after we got there, but the owner was super nice.  I ordered the Super Taco and a Lengua taco.  Time then seemed to drag on forever, we waited about 30-40 minutes for our tacos, but then i saw a partial reason for the wait.  They make every tortilla to order!! Every tortilla is just a ball of dough, then they roll it out, flat top it and then they get the rest of the order rolling.  Wow, i like this place already.  After a bit the owner comes up and with near tears says,

"No more lengua, can I get you anything else?  The Picadillo, I made it myself it's very good!" 
"Awesome, thank you so much." She then hugged me and gave me all our tacos.  I like this place a lot.

The tacos were amazing, I had no idea what was inside but the tortilla was fluffy and light, the seasonings were amazing, and the salsa was fantastic.  All in all, one of the best tacos i have ever had.

Back to game day, the games get slower and slower as the day goes on and my wizard staff grows in length.  After several hours i give in and take a short nap, like a chump.  But it was a sporadic nap and after a while Scott showed back up with two pizzas from his restaurant, a BBQ Chicken and a Supreme.  Not to shabby, the crust was not my favorite but it was good pizza and I thank Scott for his contribution to my evenings longevity.  From there it was just a bit more staff building and rabble rousing till finally we headed home.  Good night Sports Fans.

Stewart Lane

Ala What?

"Hey Stew, it's time to remember the Alamo!"  Not the most normal way to be woken up but hey, its San Antonio.
Today Scott and I set our sights on the historic Alamo, River walk, and Downtown SA.  But first lets talk a minute about the Alamo.

According to the sources, by this i mean what i gleaned and paraphrased from the gift shop AKA "Alamo Museum" the Alamo was a mission first then a fort.  The Mexican Army took it over then a bunch of angry Texans and some other folks came in and took the whole thing back.  Surprisingly the Mexicans did not like this and then, "On February 23, 1836, the arrival of General Antonio López de Santa Anna's army outside San Antonio nearly caught them by surprise."  So they holed themselves up and started fighting a huge number with about 160 people.  They asked for help and they got 36 people, seems like this should of been an omen to give up the tiny little fort because no one outside of the people involved thought it was a good idea to keep it!  So then they fought for a bit and they were all killed.  The end.

Now having this history in my head we toured the grounds, in 5 minutes.  This place is so tiny and, I feel that I must point this out, the floor was sticky everywhere!!!  I was trying to culture myself and learn me some Texas history but all I could think was,"Did they spill soda everywhere, no that wouldn't do this.  Are these trees sap trees, no they are not.  How could it get like this, is it the blood of fallen patriots, no they would of cleaned that up a long time ago.  WHY!!!!"  Then once inside the famous structure of the Alamo it was empty.  All the display cases were empty, there were these side rooms with nothing in them but they were fenced off anyway, and the only real interesting thing was..... umm.... the electronic guest book?  But that might of been because of the colors and movement, and my ADD.

Now that i can forever say that I will remember the Alamo we move on to a more more pressing issue, Lunch.  We start walking and Scott does his best tour guide impression,

"That's a building, its old.  That's a big thing....oh the torch of friendship.  That's the River Walk.  That's the hall of Justice (which while jay walking in front of we almost got hit by a bus).  What else did you need to know?" and so on.  It was a very informative tour.

We stopped for lunch at Druthers, a great little sandwich place in the heart of downtown.  I had the Smuther Druther, A tarragon grilled chicken sandwich with bacon, avocado, mayo and provolone on toasted sour dough bread.  Every bite was a bit of happy with perfectly complimenting flavors and textures.  Scott had the Cheesesteak, everything great with just under the amount of slop as a Philly Philly.  But both our sides were disappointing, no real flavor in my potato salad or Scotts pasta salad.  Oh well, on we go.

Oh one building of note, the NIX.  It's a hospital built in a historic building that has been around forever.  The problem is that its a historic building, so you can't easily upgrade, add-on, or advance your hospital.  Only one elevator can carry a full gurney, and the other 2 are spotty at best with their performances.  The company put in a 20 person barometric chamber which they had to put it in from the side of the building meaning....they had to label and remove every brick in the way.  Store them, then reassemble the building exactly as it was before they put a hole in it.  Its all very silly.

Since Scott had to work this night I went out to the Food Truck Spot called Boulevard on Bulverde.  Its a food truck spot in between shanktown and bodydumpsville.  But unfazed I carried on, and i was so happy I did.

My first stop was the guy selling key beer for $2 a cup, you know to take in the sights better.  Then off to the Korean taco truck, Seoul Grill Eats.  I had the Bulgogi taco, marinated rib eye topped with Korean slaw, cilantro, green onions and Seoul Sauce.  Amazing?  Huge understatement!  These tacos were so fresh, light but with amazing spicy flavor and the perfect mix of textures.  Oh yes my friends, the Korean taco truck is a winning concept.

From there it was off to Tapa Tapa to try the Pork belly taco with a spicy tomatillo salsa, warm pico and topped with these ground up spicy Mexican cheeto things.  I liked it, but it was missing a depth of flavor and a memorable kick.  It was just there, sad for pork belly. But he did offer a great treat, watermelon marinated in lime juice and mint with pop rocks on top.  I like the idea, need improvement but could be an awesome dish.

Hopefully the next spot will lift my spirits, and they tried hard.  Bistro Six offered Truffled grilled cheese, yes Ma'am!  Buttered sourdough with swiss, goat and blue cheese, caramelized onions and truffle oil.  All served with a small side salad with a lemon vinaigrette.  Screw the salad, it tasted like they made it with bottled lemon juice and salt, but the sandwich was amazing!!!  While ever present the truffle oil did not overwhelm everything, it played nicely with all parties.  I like this gooey truffley guy, needs a recreation on day.

Belly full and eyes getting heavy I headed back to Scotts place.  And then off to meet up with one of his friends at a bar called 50/50.  Nothing of note happened here except that the bad gave us the evil eye for leaving and going into the walled off quieter room.  But after the bar..... Taco truck time.

El Gallito De Jalisco, was the name of this truck set up in a car wash.  Perfect.  I ordered the al pastor and the barbacoa tacos.  To say these were the best tacos i have had in Texas would be true, but needed to be said much louder.  These were amazing!  And the translation made by google of the restaurants name means, "Fighting Cocks of the Straw Hat."  I feel it might be a miss translation but i like it the same.

Stewart Lane

Monday, October 24, 2011

Wizard Staffs And World Series

"Hey, I am going to class.  Either stare at the ceiling all day or head on out till class is over.  Here is a key.  Deuces"  I added the deuces part.

And that's how i started my first day in San Antonio.  After plenty of ceiling staring I decided to head out and get something to eat.  It was a beautiful day outside so I headed on out to find myself something quick and tasty.

After a nice mile walk i came across House of Pho, done!  I was surprised to see a chain Pho shop but I loved the concept and wanted to try it out.  I started with the shrimp spring rolls with rice noodles, lettuce, mint and Thai basil.  These things were about the size of a coke can, and who ever was rolling them needed a few more classes.  They were rolled loose and so eating them was a challenge without having them dump the entirety of their contents all over my plate.  I struggled through it and persevered, my next course was on its way.  My Pho Tai, thinly sliced rare beef, arrived and my excitement went up and down faster than fat kid jumping off the swing set.  The bowl was visually perfect but once spoon hit mouth all that died.  There was something missing, a brightness, a cohesiveness, flavour, i don't know something.  No amount of sriracha, hoisen, or lime juice could fix this bowl full of abomination.  Sad days, I don't think I will ever trust another Vietnamese chain again.

Spent the remainder of the day waiting for Scott to return and basking in the sun by the pool.  Yes the pool, in October, I even took a dip.  Suck on that Midwest!

Tonight's plan of attack.  Go to this great and wonderful place called city center, like a whole foods but on mega fun steroids, get beer and food then go watch world series.  I about died when i walked in this place, it has everything awesome!  It has an entire area full of pates, pickles, preserves, smoked fish, caviar, olives, and so on.  And to top it all off, they have an amazing sandwich place here.  I ordered the Cuban and Scott ordered the bistro roast beef, Roast beef, caramelized onions, blue cheese, arugula, and horseradish cream sauce.  Both were toasty pressed sandwiches of pure happiness.  We gathered our food and beer and headed over to Scott's friend Blakes' house for the game.

Upon arrival the games and drinking commenced.  I first learned of the Wizard Staff, finish a can of beer then duck tap another one to the top then continue to drink out of the top beer, repeat till you have a staff as tall as you.  Then you hit people with it.  Its a very complicated process but entertaining the entire time.  Then around 12:30 I heard a knock at the door, being the closest person I opened the door and was eye to eye with the youngest looking cop i  have ever seen.  He puffed out his chest and got real authoritative real fast.  With a few quick words and some apologies, the cops left and it was back to party time.  Maybe these grad school really is just college 2.0, more fun less work.

Stewart Lane

San Antonio Stroll!

It's travel day yet again, time to head on out to San Antonio to visit Dr. Scott Sundell.  I have known this man for many years, since our first meeting in the kitchens of Della Voce in 2007.  While he is not a doctor by license, i have always called him for Dr related questions like,
"As A doctor, would you recommend I take that 7th shot of tequila?"

My position was always one of the lawyer, I would field questions like,
"As a lawyer, can I really get in trouble for going into the kitchen at Denny's and demanding to know why they used canned Hollendaise?"

This relationship helped keep both of us out of "trouble", healthy, and away from the law.  But enough about that, it's time to hit the road.

I start the journey like always, with a pleasant goodbye to all my new friends, ice in my cooler, and a final destination in my GPS.  Today was no different.  I went back to Melange to say good bye to all the crew and say goodbye to Linda.  After doing the rounds and thanking everyone for their time and allowing me to take part in the operation, Mikey hands me a card from all the staff.  It was very nice of them to take the time to do this for me and I can't wait to bring one of them up to our facility to try and return the favor.  But no more goodbye's, it's road time!

I head out to find my parents house and with very little effort I find it, or is it the one across the street.  Having never been here I call my dad to confirm, he describes one of the houses perfectly and I confirm the location.  I really wanted to see the inside of the house and see where my family had spent the early years, but the people were not home.  So I lurked around the house taking pictures of it and the back yard(which now has a hotub) and pool.  Before any suspicious neighbor called the cops on me I got back in the car and headed out.

My next stop was Buc-ee's, a store with so much Texas it will make your head spin!  The store mascot is a buck toothed beaver, and he sells everything Tx.  Texas shaped cutting boards, Texas branded cast iron cook wear, and every form of beef jerky you could imagine.  And the clothes, if you ever need to buy camo pants, an "I heart Tx" shirt, a hat that looks like the beaver and beaver underwear but only want to stop once then this is your spot.  Well I decided to sample, what someone told me I could not miss, a spicy sausage wrapped in a hot dog bun with stuffed with cheese and jalapenos.  Like a pigs in a blanket except with a roll.  It was exactly like what you would of expected. 

A full tank of gas, and a stomach full of bad decisions, I make my way on west.  My arrival into San Antonio happened to coincide with rush hour, and let me say that of all the places in Texas San Antonio has the WORST DRIVERS by far!!! Clear roads ahead and people are going one of two speeds, 5-10 miles under and 10-20 miles over the speed limit.  Nothing in between and no one pays attention to anything else on the road.  Just terrible, but i get to Scott's safely and scratch free. 

I get changed then its off to a bar to watch the World Series with Scotts grad school peeps.  Nice group, but i am starting to get this vibe that grad school is hard to get into, and impossible to fail out of.  Its like they took college partying and just turned it up, with less school to go to, and less class stress.  I would of never guessed.

Stewart Lane